Comments on: The role and importance of “expectations” in being happy http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/09/the-role-and-importance-of-%e2%80%9cexpectations%e2%80%9d-in-being-happy/ Fri, 30 Jul 2010 09:58:38 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Michelle Wojnowski http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/09/the-role-and-importance-of-%e2%80%9cexpectations%e2%80%9d-in-being-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-386 Michelle Wojnowski Wed, 06 Jan 2010 17:27:08 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=74#comment-386 A detailed article to help people understand the process of happiness. Thanks for sharing your gifts to the world, Nick. Since this is open for a discussion, I will add my paragraph to the mix. Time to step back for a minute. Your feelings are an indicator to you to point you in the direction you want to go. (Your ego may think you want to go this way but it truly knows what is for your highest good.) Use your emotions as a compass. Whenever you feel unhappy you are "attached" to the outcome and trying to force something to happen. By achieving peace and love, which is really what you are, you work with the ego to learn how better to align. Therefore as things come up you will come to understand and appreciate the bigger picture, to guide you to being better tuned into LIFE. A detailed article to help people understand the process of happiness. Thanks for sharing your gifts to the world, Nick. Since this is open for a discussion, I will add my paragraph to the mix.
Time to step back for a minute. Your feelings are an indicator to you to point you in the direction you want to go. (Your ego may think you want to go this way but it truly knows what is for your highest good.) Use your emotions as a compass. Whenever you feel unhappy you are “attached” to the outcome and trying to force something to happen. By achieving peace and love, which is really what you are, you work with the ego to learn how better to align. Therefore as things come up you will come to understand and appreciate the bigger picture, to guide you to being better tuned into LIFE.

]]> By: Nick http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/09/the-role-and-importance-of-%e2%80%9cexpectations%e2%80%9d-in-being-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-56 Nick Sun, 20 Sep 2009 14:03:39 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=74#comment-56 Hi Soraya, thank you very much for your good comments! I agree that the hypothesis relief = happiness is questionable. It certainly can be the case in some situations (for example, when I recently thought I had wired a substantial amount of money to a wrong account, but then finding out it was the correct one, I did indeed experience an improvement of mood, making me happy for the next 2 hours or so, above the level I was in before I learned that it may have been the wrong account), but whether it applies to all situations needs to be analyzed. Regarding the pre-living of a moment: I agree that we cannot pre-live every moment, as our experiences in this respect may be limited. In other words: having already experienced something, making us capable to pre-live similar future situations, may have an impact on our happiness. Thanks again for the good comments, Nick Hi Soraya,

thank you very much for your good comments!

I agree that the hypothesis relief = happiness is questionable. It certainly can be the case in some situations (for example, when I recently thought I had wired a substantial amount of money to a wrong account, but then finding out it was the correct one, I did indeed experience an improvement of mood, making me happy for the next 2 hours or so, above the level I was in before I learned that it may have been the wrong account), but whether it applies to all situations needs to be analyzed.

Regarding the pre-living of a moment: I agree that we cannot pre-live every moment, as our experiences in this respect may be limited. In other words: having already experienced something, making us capable to pre-live similar future situations, may have an impact on our happiness.

Thanks again for the good comments,

Nick

]]> By: Soraya http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/09/the-role-and-importance-of-%e2%80%9cexpectations%e2%80%9d-in-being-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-55 Soraya Sat, 19 Sep 2009 23:03:54 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=74#comment-55 Concerning your recent post "The role and importance of 'expectations' in being happy" Since your chief aim is to initiate a discussion, I hope you can provide me with some feedback to my suggestion. I do see your point in stating that the less you expect, the more rewarded you feel, if a situation turns out to be pleasurable. However I do not feel convinced that you can actually take this rule and reverse it. In my oppinion, the state of emotion you experience after an incident turns out to be less painful than expected, I claim that the feeling you experience is relief; I'm not absolutely convinced that the term 'happiness' is applicable here. I would also question whether you can 'prelive' possible, unbearable situations, since your imagination is limited to the experiences you have had in life so far. I do however agree with your idea that being taken by surprise can outlive the expectations and therefore enrich the experience, i.e. multiply the experienced happiness. Nevertheless, I doubt whether a state of happiness can only be guaranteed, provided that a certain number of unforeseen pleasurable surprises take place. On the contrary, I would argue that the mixture between a guaranteed number of events which by experience have turned out to guarantee a positive outcome, combined with a percentage of unexpected lucky incidents lead to the general feeling of happiness. Concerning your recent post “The role and importance of ‘expectations’ in being happy”

Since your chief aim is to initiate a discussion, I hope you can provide me with some feedback to my suggestion.

I do see your point in stating that the less you expect, the more rewarded you feel, if a situation turns out to be pleasurable. However I do not feel convinced that you can actually take this rule and reverse it. In my oppinion, the state of emotion you experience after an incident turns out to be less painful than expected, I claim that the feeling you experience is relief; I’m not absolutely convinced that the term ‘happiness’ is applicable here.

I would also question whether you can ‘prelive’ possible, unbearable situations, since your imagination is limited to the experiences you have had in life so far.

I do however agree with your idea that being taken by surprise can outlive the expectations and therefore enrich the experience, i.e. multiply the experienced happiness.

Nevertheless, I doubt whether a state of happiness can only be guaranteed, provided that a certain number of unforeseen pleasurable surprises take place. On the contrary, I would argue that the mixture between a guaranteed number of events which by experience have turned out to guarantee a positive outcome, combined with a percentage of unexpected lucky incidents lead to the general feeling of happiness.

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