Comments on: It’s About Sex, Again: Happiness and “Keeping up with the Joneses” http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/11/it%e2%80%99s-about-sex-again-happiness-and-%e2%80%9ckeeping-up-with-the-joneses%e2%80%9d/ Fri, 30 Jul 2010 09:58:38 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: elisa freschi http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/11/it%e2%80%99s-about-sex-again-happiness-and-%e2%80%9ckeeping-up-with-the-joneses%e2%80%9d/comment-page-1/#comment-175 elisa freschi Tue, 24 Nov 2009 20:40:40 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=392#comment-175 Yes, to have the problem to "keep down with the Joneses" is better than having the problem of not having anything to eat! But still, I would not describe scenarios II as desirable. Yes, to have the problem to “keep down with the Joneses” is better than having the problem of not having anything to eat! But still, I would not describe scenarios II as desirable.

]]> By: Amod Lele http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/11/it%e2%80%99s-about-sex-again-happiness-and-%e2%80%9ckeeping-up-with-the-joneses%e2%80%9d/comment-page-1/#comment-174 Amod Lele Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:33:44 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=392#comment-174 I tend to feel that that's a nice problem to have. I have been in that situation before - I had more than my peers when I was an undergrad, and there were points it was uncomfortable and awkward. The thing is, the option of pretending to have less is quite easy - you can even <i>genuinely</i> have less if you want, by putting it in savings or giving it to charity. Pretending to have more is more difficult, and usually counterproductive. I tend to feel that that’s a nice problem to have. I have been in that situation before – I had more than my peers when I was an undergrad, and there were points it was uncomfortable and awkward. The thing is, the option of pretending to have less is quite easy – you can even genuinely have less if you want, by putting it in savings or giving it to charity. Pretending to have more is more difficult, and usually counterproductive.

]]> By: elisa freschi http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/11/it%e2%80%99s-about-sex-again-happiness-and-%e2%80%9ckeeping-up-with-the-joneses%e2%80%9d/comment-page-1/#comment-173 elisa freschi Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:33:35 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=392#comment-173 What about the fact that some of us (I for one) also feel unconfortable whenever they earn more/have more wealth than their peers? I do not think that scenarios II are attractive, surely they are not attractive for me. I would not like being the only one who can afford a laptop with everyone staring at me whenever I take it out of my bag, for instance. I would just end up pretending to earn less, in order not to make other people envy me. This may have to do with my European background, but I guess not only with it. What about the fact that some of us (I for one) also feel unconfortable whenever they earn more/have more wealth than their peers? I do not think that scenarios II are attractive, surely they are not attractive for me. I would not like being the only one who can afford a laptop with everyone staring at me whenever I take it out of my bag, for instance. I would just end up pretending to earn less, in order not to make other people envy me. This may have to do with my European background, but I guess not only with it.

]]> By: Amod Lele http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/11/it%e2%80%99s-about-sex-again-happiness-and-%e2%80%9ckeeping-up-with-the-joneses%e2%80%9d/comment-page-1/#comment-168 Amod Lele Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:51:04 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=392#comment-168 Whoops, was going to add: none of this means my case is typical, of course. Just some anecdotal evidence to throw into the mix. Whoops, was going to add: none of this means my case is typical, of course. Just some anecdotal evidence to throw into the mix.

]]> By: Amod Lele http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/11/it%e2%80%99s-about-sex-again-happiness-and-%e2%80%9ckeeping-up-with-the-joneses%e2%80%9d/comment-page-1/#comment-167 Amod Lele Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:50:25 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=392#comment-167 Interesting questions, Nick. I've been thinking about these matters a lot lately, including <a href="http://loveofallwisdom.com/2009/11/wealth-is-not-neutral/" rel="nofollow">on my blog</a>, because I have a lot less money these days than I used to. The money feels less adequate now than it did in grad school when I made a similar amount, for a couple of reasons; but both look closest to your #3. My friends now make more than they did when I was a grad student, so I feel more acutely the things I can't afford. (None of my fellow grad students ever said "Hey, let's go to this great fancy restaurant which is having a great deal right now, only $50 for the set menu!" My friends say that now.) And similarly I used to be able to buy such fancy things myself without thinking about it, which also makes me more acutely aware of what I could have. It's definitely not about the mating - thankfully, that part's taken care of in my case. Interesting questions, Nick. I’ve been thinking about these matters a lot lately, including on my blog, because I have a lot less money these days than I used to. The money feels less adequate now than it did in grad school when I made a similar amount, for a couple of reasons; but both look closest to your #3. My friends now make more than they did when I was a grad student, so I feel more acutely the things I can’t afford. (None of my fellow grad students ever said “Hey, let’s go to this great fancy restaurant which is having a great deal right now, only $50 for the set menu!” My friends say that now.) And similarly I used to be able to buy such fancy things myself without thinking about it, which also makes me more acutely aware of what I could have.

It’s definitely not about the mating – thankfully, that part’s taken care of in my case.

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