Comments on: Happiness vs. Unhappiness – Which Can Be Stronger? http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/12/happiness-vs-unhappiness-%e2%80%93-which-can-be-stronger/ Fri, 30 Jul 2010 09:58:38 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: How to Donate your Money? | SpreadingHappiness.org http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/12/happiness-vs-unhappiness-%e2%80%93-which-can-be-stronger/comment-page-1/#comment-336 How to Donate your Money? | SpreadingHappiness.org Sat, 26 Dec 2009 11:55:03 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=420#comment-336 [...] previous post argued that unhappiness can be the much stronger emotion compared to unhappiness. If this view is [...] [...] previous post argued that unhappiness can be the much stronger emotion compared to unhappiness. If this view is [...]

]]> By: Samuel http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/12/happiness-vs-unhappiness-%e2%80%93-which-can-be-stronger/comment-page-1/#comment-263 Samuel Mon, 21 Dec 2009 00:52:10 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=420#comment-263 Hi Nick, hi Elisa, my question would be: how much of the (in this case Elisa's) experienced happiness during childbirth is the result of biochemical processes and how much is due to cultural imprint? How much is actually experienced in the process and how much is only retrospective association? Since the hormonal reactions create exactly the personal 'high' you refererred to as 'being on drugs' Nick, this could be a rather one dimensional explanation for this kind of happiness, despite the pain and the wish to relive it. It would be interesting to know too, Elisa, whether having children was something you have always wanted. Whether your upbringing ensured, that you fullfil the traditional role model of a loving mother. Therefore the feeling of accomplishment, of having lived up to (your) expectations might result in exactly this feeling of complete happiness. My third, again rather simplistic reason for thinking back to childbirth as something extremely positive, might be the fact that it marks the end of pregnancy and the beginning of new life. Nonregarding exhaustion and the end to a tiresome period, probably overshadowed by concern regarding the well- being of the fetus, it is the beginning of a new life. Therefore, ideally, all the expectations, hopes and optimistic feelings are still unchallenged by any infringement of reality. What I think is worth investigating, is to what degree the brain transforms good or bad news, i.e. events into physical reactions and whether its impact is related to the speed of this transmission. What exactly makes you feel bad, after you've been told that a close relative of yours has just died? How is the news of this loss translated into you weeping over the fact that you will never see, nor speak to this person again? While physical pain is instantly transmitted, messages with disturbing content take some time 'to sink in' and sometimes cause a shock, fainting or other physical symptoms of distress. Therefore, I would differentiate between those events which one can intellectually grasp instantly and those, which only slowly result in major distress. In my opinion, if you take childbirth as an example of a major life changing event, it cannot be traced back to one or two factors which result in the momentary feeling of happiness. Hi Nick, hi Elisa,
my question would be: how much of the (in this case Elisa’s) experienced happiness during childbirth is the result of biochemical processes and how much is due to cultural imprint? How much is actually experienced in the process and how much is only retrospective association? Since the hormonal reactions create exactly the personal ‘high’ you refererred to as ‘being on drugs’ Nick, this could be a rather one dimensional explanation for this kind of happiness, despite the pain and the wish to relive it. It would be interesting to know too, Elisa, whether having children was something you have always wanted. Whether your upbringing ensured, that you fullfil the traditional role model of a loving mother. Therefore the feeling of accomplishment, of having lived up to (your) expectations might result in exactly this feeling of complete happiness.

My third, again rather simplistic reason for thinking back to childbirth as something extremely positive, might be the fact that it marks the end of pregnancy and the beginning of new life. Nonregarding exhaustion and the end to a tiresome period, probably overshadowed by concern regarding the well- being of the fetus, it is the beginning of a new life. Therefore, ideally, all the expectations, hopes and optimistic feelings are still unchallenged by any infringement of reality.

What I think is worth investigating, is to what degree the brain transforms good or bad news, i.e. events into physical reactions and whether its impact is related to the speed of this transmission. What exactly makes you feel bad, after you’ve been told that a close relative of yours has just died? How is the news of this loss translated into you weeping over the fact that you will never see, nor speak to this person again? While physical pain is instantly transmitted, messages with disturbing content take some time ‘to sink in’ and sometimes cause a shock, fainting or other physical symptoms of distress. Therefore, I would differentiate between those events which one can intellectually grasp instantly and those, which only slowly result in major distress. In my opinion, if you take childbirth as an example of a major life changing event, it cannot be traced back to one or two factors which result in the momentary feeling of happiness.

]]> By: Nick http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/12/happiness-vs-unhappiness-%e2%80%93-which-can-be-stronger/comment-page-1/#comment-241 Nick Sat, 19 Dec 2009 08:53:52 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=420#comment-241 Hi Elisa, thank you for your comment. I didnt mean to say that one should be happy to earn more than one neighbours. This is only an observation I made (many people feel that way), and with the article I try to explain it. The hypothesis is that our tendency to compare ourselves to others has its roots in reproduction. It's just a hypothesis, but without a hypothesis we dont have anything to discuss ;-) Regarding your second point: there is no contradiction if we keep in mind how we define happiness (or how I do): happiness is if we want to re-live the moment. If you say you would like to re-live the experience of giving birth to a child (despite the physical pain) then it is happiness by definition. Cheers, Nick Hi Elisa,

thank you for your comment.

I didnt mean to say that one should be happy to earn more than one neighbours. This is only an observation I made (many people feel that way), and with the article I try to explain it. The hypothesis is that our tendency to compare ourselves to others has its roots in reproduction. It’s just a hypothesis, but without a hypothesis we dont have anything to discuss ;-)

Regarding your second point: there is no contradiction if we keep in mind how we define happiness (or how I do): happiness is if we want to re-live the moment. If you say you would like to re-live the experience of giving birth to a child (despite the physical pain) then it is happiness by definition.

Cheers,

Nick

]]> By: elisa freschi http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/12/happiness-vs-unhappiness-%e2%80%93-which-can-be-stronger/comment-page-1/#comment-208 elisa freschi Mon, 14 Dec 2009 17:48:06 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=420#comment-208 Dear Nick, I can't understand why, but I seem to disagree about the very assumptions that you take for granted (such as the fact that one should be happy to earn more than one neighbours, or that one should have as many sources of happiness as possible). Similarly, I am pretty sure that most people would be happy to relive a moment of intense physical pain and of major happiness such as giving birth. On the other hand, I, for one, would not like to re-live a moment of intense psychical pain, such as the loss of a dear person. Dear Nick,
I can’t understand why, but I seem to disagree about the very assumptions that you take for granted (such as the fact that one should be happy to earn more than one neighbours, or that one should have as many sources of happiness as possible). Similarly, I am pretty sure that most people would be happy to relive a moment of intense physical pain and of major happiness such as giving birth. On the other hand, I, for one, would not like to re-live a moment of intense psychical pain, such as the loss of a dear person.

]]> By: Soraya http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/12/happiness-vs-unhappiness-%e2%80%93-which-can-be-stronger/comment-page-1/#comment-187 Soraya Fri, 04 Dec 2009 16:33:19 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=420#comment-187 Dear Nick, concerning the balance between good and bad moments, the psychologist John Gottmann worked out the formula that it takes 5 positive remarks to outweigh one negative remark. Whether or not this is also applicable to human life in general would be worth a discussion. See also: http://www.accomplishlife.com/articles/55/1/The-Magic-Ratio-of-Positive-and-Negative-Moments/Page1.html Perhaps this will provide you with more information. Dear Nick,
concerning the balance between good and bad moments, the psychologist John Gottmann worked out the formula that it takes 5 positive remarks to outweigh one negative remark. Whether or not this is also applicable to human life in general would be worth a discussion. See also: http://www.accomplishlife.com/articles/55/1/The-Magic-Ratio-of-Positive-and-Negative-Moments/Page1.html
Perhaps this will provide you with more information.

]]> By: Cantrian http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2009/12/happiness-vs-unhappiness-%e2%80%93-which-can-be-stronger/comment-page-1/#comment-186 Cantrian Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:52:57 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=420#comment-186 Your rather jokingly assumed choice between (good) sex and death comes actually true for some species of male spiders (latrodectus spiders), or the male mantis religiosa. Since the male is risking his life or at least a severe injury, it would make more sense not to reproduce at all, than taking these risks. However, after surviving the (first) injury inflicted by the female, the chances for a successful reproduction rises by about 50 % the second time. Of course nobody has ever asked a male argiope- oder cyrtophora- spider whether it's worth it... Your rather jokingly assumed choice between (good) sex and death comes actually true for some species of male spiders (latrodectus spiders), or the male mantis religiosa. Since the male is risking his life or at least a severe injury, it would make more sense not to reproduce at all, than taking these risks. However, after surviving the (first) injury inflicted by the female, the chances for a successful reproduction rises by about 50 % the second time. Of course nobody has ever asked a male argiope- oder cyrtophora- spider whether it’s worth it…

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