Comments on: How to Get Over a Break-up http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2010/03/how-to-get-over-a-break-up/ Fri, 30 Jul 2010 09:58:38 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: unojo http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2010/03/how-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-2566 unojo Wed, 14 Jul 2010 13:26:03 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=689#comment-2566 Something that I have noticed that has caused me more pain in a breakup is the shock of it. Where it seems to come from out of the blue that there was an issue that didn't even get discussed and one person just made an executive decision for the two of them. Communicate with each other. What happened to resolution? If two people communicate about an issue one may have then there may be room for resolution. But having one person just decide "it's over" alone does not sound like a relationship to me. It sounds selfish or as if there is something else going on. Something that I have noticed that has caused me more pain in a breakup is the shock of it. Where it seems to come from out of the blue that there was an issue that didn’t even get discussed and one person just made an executive decision for the two of them. Communicate with each other. What happened to resolution? If two people communicate about an issue one may have then there may be room for resolution. But having one person just decide “it’s over” alone does not sound like a relationship to me. It sounds selfish or as if there is something else going on.

]]> By: Barry Swinton http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2010/03/how-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-1697 Barry Swinton Fri, 14 May 2010 21:34:48 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=689#comment-1697 Hi there, i am very happy that i found your article. I want to tell for other who might be right now on a breaking up, i know that you go through hard times now,but let me tell you that i was going through this a few month ago and now i am back with my ex. I've got advice from friends and every person i've met, but nothing helped me more <a href="http://confederatia.com/the-magic-of-making-up/" rel="nofollow">like this book</a>. I found a book that really changed me, and i was able to get her back. Here is this if you REALLY want tho make it up with your ex again. Thank you again, and i hope this information helped a lot. Be happy then... Hi there, i am very happy that i found your article.
I want to tell for other who might be right now on a breaking up, i know that you go through hard times now,but let me tell you that i was going through this a few month ago and now i am back with my ex.
I’ve got advice from friends and every person i’ve met, but nothing helped me more like this book.
I found a book that really changed me, and i was able to get her back.
Here is this if you REALLY want tho make it up with your ex again. Thank you again, and i hope this information helped a lot. Be happy then…

]]> By: lilsexy http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2010/03/how-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-1279 lilsexy Tue, 20 Apr 2010 19:54:14 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=689#comment-1279 Thanks so much for all the points of advice. I will frequently refer back to them I'm sure cuz my breakup is still very new. Thanks so much for all the points of advice. I will frequently refer back to them I’m sure cuz my breakup is still very new.

]]> By: Lelys http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2010/03/how-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-1081 Lelys Mon, 05 Apr 2010 17:57:58 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=689#comment-1081 All pointers so true! I'm in the middle of my second break up right now. Well, second from a serious relationship at least. This sucks big time, but then again we had been together for many years and it just faded. Now I'm beginning to think it was not my fault or his, tough it culminated on his cheating on me. Maybe we didn't work hard enough, we tried, but eventually I think we are just so different with our expectations and views of the word that this would have happened eventually anyway. I'm trying to concentrate on the positive. When I begin to miss him I try to think about the things that I had to compromise when being with him (like I can paint in the middle of the living room, no nagging about the mess or the smell and just leave things where I need them the next time, I can eat ice cream (universal remedy for all break ups all around the world) straight from the package! :D) The point about this being just a part of human life strangely comforts me. It's just what it is. It will be over, make me stronger and next time I'll know better. I can't break all communication in a halt. We still have things and money issues to solve, I'm really thankful that our shared apartment is on my name, this is my home and I would hate to give it up. We are making effort to solve this in mature way, which for me at least is kind of hard (I did had urges to shred his clothes or other childlike things when I thought about the cheating), but I grabbed a pen and, yea: wrote those things down. Reading them the next day helped huge amounts just seemed so silly and totally not my way of working things out. :) All pointers so true!
I’m in the middle of my second break up right now. Well, second from a serious relationship at least. This sucks big time, but then again we had been together for many years and it just faded. Now I’m beginning to think it was not my fault or his, tough it culminated on his cheating on me. Maybe we didn’t work hard enough, we tried, but eventually I think we are just so different with our expectations and views of the word that this would have happened eventually anyway. I’m trying to concentrate on the positive. When I begin to miss him I try to think about the things that I had to compromise when being with him (like I can paint in the middle of the living room, no nagging about the mess or the smell and just leave things where I need them the next time, I can eat ice cream (universal remedy for all break ups all around the world) straight from the package! :D )
The point about this being just a part of human life strangely comforts me. It’s just what it is. It will be over, make me stronger and next time I’ll know better. I can’t break all communication in a halt. We still have things and money issues to solve, I’m really thankful that our shared apartment is on my name, this is my home and I would hate to give it up. We are making effort to solve this in mature way, which for me at least is kind of hard (I did had urges to shred his clothes or other childlike things when I thought about the cheating), but I grabbed a pen and, yea: wrote those things down. Reading them the next day helped huge amounts just seemed so silly and totally not my way of working things out. :)

]]> By: VS http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2010/03/how-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-827 VS Fri, 12 Mar 2010 08:21:12 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=689#comment-827 I would agree with Elisa and hope that its just a momentary reaction. However, since you have been so clinical in your approach, I would suggest that you consider understanding the point that lust, attraction, attachment could be due to levels of different neurotransmitters. One could consider increasing the levels of the relevant neurotransmitters like oxytocin or vasopressin in himself and the mate. Heres one relevant article on the topic: http://www.helenfisher.com/downloads/articles/10lustattraction.pdf I would agree with Elisa and hope that its just a momentary reaction. However, since you have been so clinical in your approach, I would suggest that you consider understanding the point that lust, attraction, attachment could be due to levels of different neurotransmitters. One could consider increasing the levels of the relevant neurotransmitters like oxytocin or vasopressin in himself and the mate. Heres one relevant article on the topic:

http://www.helenfisher.com/downloads/articles/10lustattraction.pdf

]]> By: elisa freschi http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2010/03/how-to-get-over-a-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-824 elisa freschi Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:27:50 +0000 http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=689#comment-824 Dear Nick, thanks for this interesting post (and good luck!). I wonder why you did not even mention the idea of trying to 'restore' one's relationship. This could be suggested: 1. because in many (most?) cases a relationship can be restored. A girl/boy friend may have at the moment a hard time, and blame the relationship for that. I would not throw everything away without trying to fix it. 2. because failing after having tried hard make (for several/many people) it easier to accept the failure. Else, one would keep on thinking "what if I had done this or that?". I know, this does not apply to everyone, but to be happy the first rule is to know oneself, isn't it? You might suggest that point 1. only holds in case of a long-term relationship, after children have been born, etc. This is possible, but I guess that several/many people do not start a relationship unless they strongly believe in it, hence, they are ready to dedicate to its restoral time and energy. Dear Nick, thanks for this interesting post (and good luck!). I wonder why you did not even mention the idea of trying to ‘restore’ one’s relationship. This could be suggested: 1. because in many (most?) cases a relationship can be restored. A girl/boy friend may have at the moment a hard time, and blame the relationship for that. I would not throw everything away without trying to fix it. 2. because failing after having tried hard make (for several/many people) it easier to accept the failure. Else, one would keep on thinking “what if I had done this or that?”. I know, this does not apply to everyone, but to be happy the first rule is to know oneself, isn’t it?
You might suggest that point 1. only holds in case of a long-term relationship, after children have been born, etc. This is possible, but I guess that several/many people do not start a relationship unless they strongly believe in it, hence, they are ready to dedicate to its restoral time and energy.

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