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	<title>SpreadingHappiness.org &#187; Break-up</title>
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	<link>http://www.spreadinghappiness.org</link>
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		<title>How to Get Over a Break-up</title>
		<link>http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2010/03/how-to-get-over-a-break-up/</link>
		<comments>http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/2010/03/how-to-get-over-a-break-up/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:22:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Nick</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Break-up]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Unhappiness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/?p=689</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
	My girlfriend dumped me last week. Ouch. Now I need to figure out how to get over it.

	

	Here&#8217;s my approach, based on what I&#8217;ve found on the net and some of my own thoughts:

	


		Remember: It&#8217;s a natural part of human life
		Breaking up and feeling terrible afterwards is nothing unusual. Billions of people have had this [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>
	My girlfriend dumped me last week. Ouch. Now I need to figure out how to get over it.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
	<o :p=""></o></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
	Here&rsquo;s my approach, based on what I&rsquo;ve found on the net and some of my own thoughts:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
	<o :p=""></o></p>
<ul style="margin-top:0cm" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list 36.0pt">
		<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Remember: It&rsquo;s a natural part of human life</b><br />
		Breaking up and feeling terrible afterwards is nothing unusual. Billions of people have had this experience before, and it&rsquo;s one of the most common causes of emotional pain. So remember two things: (1) you are not alone and (2) breaking up is a natural part of human life.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list 36.0pt">
		<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; ">Remember: Time heals all wounds<br />
		<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">No matter how bad you feel now, it will go away eventually. While knowing this may not reduce the pain directly, it may give you strength during the &ldquo;shitty phase.&rdquo; <span style="mso-spacerun:yes">&nbsp;</p>
<p>		</span></span></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list 36.0pt">
		<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; ">Do something good for yourself<br />
		<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">You&rsquo;ve taken a punch, and now it&rsquo;s time to take care of yourself. Do something you want to do: watch a movie, read a good book, exercise (!), start a new hobby, buy the cool gadget you&rsquo;ve always wanted, etc.</p>
<p>		</span></span></span></span></b></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list 36.0pt">
		<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; ">Spend time with family or friends&nbsp;<br />
		<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">Part of your &ldquo;relationship life&rdquo; took a hit. The solution? Take care of your other relationships. Spend time with family or friends and plan enjoyable activities with them ahead of time (especially on weekends).&nbsp;</p>
<p>		</span></span></span></span></span></span></b></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list 36.0pt">
		<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; ">Let yourself grieve, but not for too long<br />
		<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">It&rsquo;s okay to feel sad. Cry, sob, and lick your wounds. However, after a couple of weeks or so, pull yourself together. Look to the future; don&rsquo;t cling to the past.</p>
<p>		</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list 36.0pt">
		<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; ">Make a clean break<br />
		<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">After the grieving period, don&rsquo;t think about your ex. Remove things from the house if they remind you of him or her. Erase your ex&rsquo;s telephone number from your mobile phone and delete all emails. It&rsquo;s over, and it&rsquo;s time to move on.</p>
<p>		</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list 36.0pt">
		<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; ">Think: Better now than later<br />
		<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">Imagine what might have happened if you didn&rsquo;t break up, but instead had got married, had kids, and then discovered things wouldn&rsquo;t work out. What a mess that would have been. It&rsquo;s better to set switch lanes now, even though it hurts.&nbsp;</p>
<p>		</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list 36.0pt">
		<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; ">Learn from the experience<br />
		<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">&ldquo;<i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">What doesn&rsquo;t kill you makes you stronger.</i>&rdquo; This saying has proven to be entirely true for me. Gathering new experiences is crucial for personal growth, although the process may not always be pleasant.&nbsp;</p>
<p>		</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list 36.0pt">
		<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; ">Don&rsquo;t start dating again too soon<br />
		<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">As mentioned above, allow yourself some time for grieving. Don&rsquo;t starting dating immediately after the break-up, or you&rsquo;ll risk trying to replace your former boy- or girlfriend with someone else. This rarely works and it will make your new partner unhappy. Take your time, and you will be dating again soon enough.&nbsp;</p>
<p>		</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list 36.0pt">
		<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Don&rsquo;t blame the break-up for everything<br />
		<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">Sometimes we tend to channel our negative feelings in one direction, making them even more painful. A break-up provides a tempting invitation to do this, but don&rsquo;t. If you feel bad, the break-up may not be the only reason. Make a plan for how to tackle the other areas you need to work on (e.g., identify your purpose in life, find a fulfilling job, etc.).&nbsp;</p>
<p>		</span></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list 36.0pt">
		<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; ">Write about it&nbsp;<br />
		<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">Putting your thoughts down on paper can help. I&rsquo;ve followed the recommendation to write a letter to my ex, but not send it. This gave me a lot of relief. I&rsquo;ve also decided to blog about it &ndash; let&rsquo;s see if it helps. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes">&nbsp;</span> <img src='http://www.spreadinghappiness.org/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';-)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>		</span></span></span></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;tab-stops:list 36.0pt">
		<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; ">View the break-up as a new beginning<br />
		<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">A break-up allows you to take a fresh look at your life and to kick habits that previously held you back. It&rsquo;s a new beginning, with great opportunities and new loving relationships waiting you!</span></span></span></span></span></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal">
	Have I forgotten anything? <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:<br />
normal"><o :p=""></o></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
	<o :p=""><span style="font-size:12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: italic; line-height: 24px; ">If you enjoyed reading this post, please subscribe to my&nbsp;<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/Spreadinghappinessorg" style="color: rgb(184, 91, 90); text-decoration: none; ">RSS feed</a>&nbsp;or&nbsp;<a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=Spreadinghappinessorg" style="color: rgb(184, 91, 90); text-decoration: none; ">email newsletter</a>!</span></span></o></p>
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